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BlogPsychology

Beyond Mom Guilt

May 27, 2025by Dr. Rashi Gandhi
Beyond Mom Guilt

In this article

Introduction

Motherhood is a beautiful journey filled with love, joy, and an undeniable bond between a mother and her child. However, it often comes with an emotional weight known as “mom guilt.” Whether it’s about working outside the home, not spending enough quality time with their children, or even indulging in self care, mom guilt can manifest in various ways. It’s the nagging feeling that you’re not doing enough or that you’re failing to meet the societal expectations of motherhood.
This feeling can be overwhelming, leading many mothers to believe that prioritizing their own needs means they are somehow failing their children. But what if we could shift that perspective? What if taking care of ourselves is not just beneficial for us but also essential for our children’s well-being too?

As mothers, we are wired to nurture and care for our children. Yet, in doing so, we often neglect our own mental and emotional health. The notion that prioritizing self-care equates to selfishness is deeply ingrained in many of us. However, it’s crucial to recognize that when we take time for ourselves—whether it’s going for a walk, meeting friends for coffee, or hitting the gym—we are not only rejuvenating our spirits but also creating a more stable environment for our children.

From the moment a child is born, a profound connection is established. This bond is not just emotional; it’s energetic. Until around the age of seven, children are energetically dependent on their mothers to feel safe and secure. They absorb their mother’s emotions, moods, and overall energy. If a mother is stressed, frustrated, or unhappy, her child can sense it. They may not fully understand the complexities of adult emotions, but they feel the weight of their mother’s struggles.

When we engage in activities that make us happy and fulfilled, we emit positive energy. This energy helps our children feel safe and secure. In contrast, if we sacrifice our needs and remain frustrated or irritable, our children absorb that bottled-up anger and discontent. It can create a cycle of negativity that impacts their emotional development.

Instead of fixating on what you think you’re lacking, take a moment to recognize and celebrate all that you are doing. Every day, you juggle countless responsibilities, from making meals to helping with homework, from soothing tears to cheering on achievements. These actions matter. They shape your child’s world and contribute to their growth and happiness.

It’s easy to overlook your own contributions when the focus is on what could be better. But it’s crucial to give yourself credit for the love, care, and effort you put in daily. Reflect on your strengths as a mother—your ability to comfort, teach, and nurture. When you acknowledge your efforts, you’ll begin to see that you are not falling short; you are thriving in your own way.

When feelings of inadequacy arise, remind yourself that it’s okay to be imperfect. No one has it all figured out, and every mother faces challenges. Embrace the idea that it’s not about being perfect but about being present and engaged in your child’s life. Allow yourself grace and understanding; you are doing the best you can with the resources and time available to you.

Conclusion

Let’s change the narrative surrounding motherhood and self-care. Recognize that taking care of yourself is not an act of selfishness; it’s an act of love—for yourself and your child. Encourage other mothers in your circle to do the same.

After all, a happy mom raises happy children.

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Traditional Parenting Vs Conscious Parenting

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